


a soi-disant catholic

by singlemalter



Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: Crossdressing, Denial of Feelings, Infidelity, M/M, Religious Guilt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-26
Updated: 2019-11-26
Packaged: 2021-02-25 21:27:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21575074
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/singlemalter/pseuds/singlemalter
Summary: He gives so much more than he’d ever admit to.
Relationships: Esteban Ocon/Sergio Perez
Comments: 6
Kudos: 22





	a soi-disant catholic

**Author's Note:**

  * For [untouchableocean](https://archiveofourown.org/users/untouchableocean/gifts).

Women aren’t supposed to be lanky, bony, flat-chested. They’re dainty and able to walk on their heels without holding on to the cheap TV rack, bent over to reveal a pair of undersized panties. No, a proper lady—like gorgeous, warm-hearted Carola—would never reduce herself to this. 

Esteban is anything but a woman, therefore he should be at the very bottom of Sergio’s exception list—except many that are first shall be last, and the last first. Besides, nothing happens according to plan anymore, not since Esteban fucked off to pursue a false promise in a bigger team. Sergio’s still angry about that, because he might be a bit of a sore loser, all right, yet he’s even worse at accepting easy wins, and whatever he and Esteban had shouldn’t have ended so anticlimactically. 

“Don’t say anything,” Sergio instructs. If he hears a single word out of Esteban’s mouth, the spell will be broken, and then _he_ will be broken, too, a listless man begging for forgiveness inside the confessional. This is a sexy, buxom woman he is going to bed with, just as long as Esteban stays quiet.

Pliant, pretty little Esteban sticks out his arse, begging for it like the _pinche_ brat he is, Jesus help him. He’s so, so easy—Esteban isn’t like the Stroll kid, he can’t just go running to his daddy every time Sergio kicks his arse; he knows what it’s like to fight and fight and fight and still get knocked back into the dirt, he’s aware of how low he is in this fucked-up hierarchy. Esteban’s never had a sense of self-worth in his goddamn life, not even when he looked Max Verstappen in the eye and told him he wasn’t hot shit, because it’s always a façade when it comes to this boy.

“Take off the… underwear,” Sergio says. He watches Esteban struggle to get rid of his ridiculous lingerie without tripping on his stilettos. The sight breeds contempt, lust, Sergio has no idea. 

Nowadays, the picture of Juan Pablo II in his cockpit is a feeble lie, just there to keep up appearances.

He takes a plastic wrapper from his discarded wallet, ripping it open and rolling the condom down his cock. It used to be a point of contention, Esteban begging him to _go without, please_, Sergio scoffing and telling him he wouldn’t risk it with a dirty kid like him.

Fucking Esteban—this is what it is, raw, mindless fucking, never something more, certainly not _making love_—gives him a sense of power and satisfaction he’s ashamed of enjoying. Nothing compares to the thrill of being desired more than desiring, taking and never giving back. But deep down, Sergio knows very well that isn’t the case with the two of them. God, he gives Esteban so much more than he should; but if he pretends, if he fakes it for a little while, perhaps he can escape the horrible tendrils of affection wrapping around his heart, sinful-sweet.

**Author's Note:**

> Happy early birthday to my dearest Jack, since I might not be able to post tomorrow. Sorry this isn’t longer or cooler, but it’s all I can give ya. Which is a lot because damn you made me write about... these two.
> 
> Exception lists are actually things that exist? Apparently straight people make little lists of “people I’d allow my partner to shag.” It sounded plausible enough.
> 
> Matthew 20:16: _So the last shall be first, and the first last: for many be called, but few chosen._
> 
> Mr. Pérez actually keeps a picture of His Holiness John Paul II in his cockpit, which is wild. (Should you always call him His Holiness even if he’s dead?)
> 
> singlemalter on Tumblr!


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